I had an “interesting” wedding experience yesterday – the worst I have ever encountered in my ten years of shooting.
As you can imagine, I come across all types of people at weddings, with very different personalities and I like to think that I can cope with and get the best out of most people at every shoot.
Yesterdays shoot was a tough one though.
On arrival at the grooms home one of the groomsmen (wannabe assistant) decided to give me photographic and posing advice even before his introduction. I guess this alone is not uncommon as everyone is a photographer at a wedding and everyone has some ideas – especially if they have been married or part of a bridal party as this guy had been. He explained to me that he shoots heaps at weddings and puts together slideshows for all his mates after their wedding with the images he’s captured on his little point and shoot digi camera.
I happily agreed to oblige him to keep the peace and assured him that I will shoot the couple of shots he wanted throughout the day – one of which was the whole bridal party linking arms and walking down the street – no probs, I can do that, happy to.
After getting my gear together and ready to start shooting, here he was again – with another suggestion for a shot right now. His request was to get a photo with the guys in their board shorts and footy jumpers with beers in front of a sign in the neighbours front yard that had some sort of religious message about Jesus (yes, this is an unusual sign to have in a residential yard but I didn’t think it was worthy of including in a wedding shoot).
I suggested that we give that a miss so not to offend the neighbour and that it’s not really the type of thing I shoot, nor did I think it would ever be included in the couples album – but feel free to shoot it on your camera. He seemed to take it ok but it was evident that he wasn’t used to having someone disagree with him or his ideas.
I finished photographing the guys with no more hassles, plenty of laughs and I left for the brides home, happy with what I’d captured.
The bride and bridesmaids were great! The bride was absolutely gorgeous, the dress fantastic and once again there were non stop laughs and some great images captured.
The next hiccup was at the location shoot. After almost finishing at the first location with both light and time disappearing quickly my groomsman had an idea for a shot that he wanted me to get before we left that spot – the bridal party all linking arms and walking up a boat ramp (about 50m away). Hmmm, sounds familiar. I replied that we can get the other shot that he wanted (with the bridal party linking arms) at the next location which would be better for that shot. No, not good enough, he wanted both. I reminded my “assistant” that the boat ramp was a series of ridges for tyre traction and that the girls won’t be able to walk on that surface with their high heels. His reply was to shoot it in front of the boat ramp instead.
Maybe I should have obliged him here but my thought were – this is ridiculous, to go and spend 10 mins shooting something that will look rubbish, in fading light and limited time when I knew there were some great images that could be captured at the next location. What would you have done?
NOTE: at this point, the groom was telling this guy to be quiet and just listen to the photographer, that’s who is getting paid to shoot.
Anyway, I said it was time to get to the next spot and on arrival only one of the two bridal cars turned up? Oh well, I had the bride and groom and started shooting while waiting for the others. Ten minutes later the rest of the party turn up with eyes rolling as they let us know they had to get some shots at the boat ramp first at the insistence of my “assistant”.
We finished the location shoot and it was off to reception – I was happy with what I had in the bag.
The last straw for me was during the speeches when my “assistant” totally humiliated me on the microphone with repeated name calling. The first time drew a laugh, from myself and the guests but after the fourth time it became a little monotonous and boring.
Interestingly and even more embarrassingly, the guests included two couples with their parents that I had photographed earlier this year as well as other personal friends of mine.
Once I had the photos of this guy making his speech, I sat down out of sight to wait for him to finish. Sure enough, a minute later he’s at it again – more offensive name calling, over and over again directed at me. At that point – one of the guys that I had photographed previously at his wedding called out, “finish your speech and sit down, it’s not your wedding”. To which there was loud applause.
At that point I was at a crossroads – pack up and leave or stay and finish the shoot.
I stayed, I didn’t want to – what would you have done?
Hey Andrew,
You did the right thing by staying and shooting. The guy obviously had a bee in his bonnet. I wouldn’t mind betting that he wanted shoot the wedding instead of being in the bridal party. I probably would of had a quiet word to the groom or bride and let them know how you were feeling.
I had a similar thing happen at a wedding where my “uncle bob” followed me around to every single location, each shot I set up she copied, every…single… one. I eventually said to her I dont mind you getting some shots but I have a job to do and I need to get it done without interruption. She was a little upset by this because she wanted to practice but sometimes thats just tough. The people paying wont take that as an excuse thats for sure. I bet it took a while to unwind after that one!
Andrew you did the right thing and acted professionally. You were there to photograph the wedding. Loud mouths eventually say too much and bring about their downfall. Your amazing shots will long be remembered far beyond that fools behaviour. Im sure everyone involved are hoping to forget his crude unfounded comments.
Go you for being professional!
You are being paid by the Bride & Groom and you did the right thing by them. He made of fool of himself by trying to make a fool of you.
Your manners shone through and you kept a happy client and won some fans I reckon.
Susie
That is hideous – that guy should be ashamed of himself. Not only did he ruin your day and make it incredibly difficult for you to do your job, but he made himself a complete nuisance and a stress on the bride and groom, and took away from the fun and enjoyment of everybody in the bridal party. At least you can be more or less assured that he probably is not going to be involved in any other weddings. Ever.
You did handle it well. It is so hard being diplomatic when dealing with stupid selfish people who obviously have no awareness of how their actions affect others.
You were obviously the professional in this situation, and I’m sure that will shine through. There’s one in every group. It’s best to just wait it out…they eventually embaress themselves.
geez, what an experience! go you with maintaining your professionalism and the upper hand. 🙂 that would have been so frustrating to experience, but i think you handled yourself 100% like a champion and ultimately, the ‘assistant’ looked bad to everyone — not you.
i’m not sure i would’ve had the patience like you did, but note to self: if i am ever in that position, just do what andrew did! 🙂 keep cool!
thanks for posting this!
Thanks for the replies and all the support – I certainly feel much better after reading your comments and a couple of nights sleep.
I wonder how the boof head is feeling now?
My hope is that the whole wedding will not be remembered for the wrong reason – after all, it was a fantastic day for the couple, and one that should live on in their memories as a great, fun time – I have the images to prove that it was.
You did the right thing Andrew. What a complete tossa! Thankfully I haven’t come across anyone like this before and hope I never do. Sounds like he really had it in for you, obviously it was lens envy 🙂
Well done Andrew on being a true professional. It was a shame this person had to embarass himself, spoil someone elses wedding and stoop to having a go at you.
The results of your work will speak loud and clear when the couple come and view their photos.
I’m sure the bride & groom regret having the lout as their groomsman.
This guy sounds like a loser. What did the bride and groom have to say about him? They were probably too embarrased to say anything. One of the things I remember most vividly about our wedding Andrew is how great you made it. And this was way back on probably one of your first weddings. So you have much more experience under your belt now, so you can be assured this is not what will be remembered. Although I do remember Phil not saying how beautiful I was in his speech…:)
You have to have one wedding to talk about in 20 years time. This sounds like it will be the one.
Pretty sure the Bride and Groom were too embarrassed to bring it up after it happened.
Poor Phil – nothing worse than a wife with a long memory 🙂 I bet you never miss an opportunity to bring it up either.
Thanks for your lovely comments, can’t wait to show you the photos from your family portrait last week.
Speak soon
Hey Kate, not sure if you received my email address last week but it’s andrew@impact-images.com.au
You have me intrigued – look forward to your reply.
Andrew